A Short Trip to Houston...and I didn't gain a pound!

Well I have been tucked away for a while, but it is time to get back to blogging.
I have been successfully sticking to my diet for 6 weeks.  I am down just about 15 lbs. Man am I so glad to see them pounds go.  I will never see those again.
So What have you missed... Well my constant dodging of cookies, candy, and sweet carbs during this holiday season has been a bit entertaining.  Is it really necessary to have so many treats just because it is the holidays?  I mean really. Anywhere I go, I am tormented. All of the sweets are screaming at me to eat them. I didn't realize that the word 'holiday' was Greek for 'get fat'. I am totally making that up, but come on, every party you go too is deliciously catered with cheesy, bready, and high calorie treats torturing anyone that is attempting to lose weight.
I keep thinking that something will finally give and the party invites will end, but it appears the next two weeks will be just as difficult to get through as the last 4. Like today, today I had to be in Houston for a work training. I know that traveling in any form is not easy while having to make good eating decisions, but it makes it worse when we show up to the training and there are donuts, coffee cake, and sodas to get our brains moving. I was doing fine until about 10:00am, the five minute break starts and it appeared that everyone in the training grabbed one of those delicious, sticky, sweet glazed donuts. I know I was daydreaming, in my head...all the directors were singing 'I want candy' and licking the glaze off those damn donuts. I could hear them all saying... 'Oh..so sweet.' or 'yum, I might have more than one'. Thankfully it was just a daydream, only a few of the ladies were taunting me with the sweetness..bitches (Kidding Jen and Julie!) I feel pretty good about my day of travels, I admit I had a handful or two of gummy bears on the road trip back, but only in an attempt to settle my stomach that was twisting from the Chipotle salad I had at lunch. I think it might have been too rich for me.  I feel better after a cup of cleansing tea and my own bed... off to dream of sugarplums and gumdrops... I mean protein bars and water. I still have lots to go,  but I am determined to finish really strong. I have 10 weeks to go, and by then I will be 50 pounds lighter. Just wait for the whole new me...

I Chaturanga posed my weight down 2 more pounds!

I haven't done yoga in a while, I don't think I have ever been that hot! It was a burning 98.6 degrees last night at sun-stone studios in Flower Mound, and I was pouring buckets of sweat the entire 60 min class. I broke a sweat walking into the hot room. At first, my thought was how in the hell is 98.6 degrees going to be relaxing, but after lying down and preparing myself for class, I was loving it. Then it hit me, it has been a long time since I have bent myself into some of these positions.  I was pretty good about staying focused and breathing through the pain, but as my forehead had to make contact to my knee for the 4th time, I began to let the 60% humidity take over me.  I began to lose focus, I was standing in tree position trying to hold on to my soaking wet foot, then kicking my foot forward into whatever that pose is called, and a flush came over me. We were now at the climax point and I needed to lie down.  It is very hard to quickly cool your body in 98.6 degree heat.  I was sweating rivers of every inch of my body.  I think I downed my entire water bottle in 30 seconds.  After a few minutes, I joined the group for the remainder of class.  I felt so much better, even today I am feeling refreshed.  I allowed myself to cool off with a cold shower afterwards.
After a long day at the office, it was a relief to weigh in tonight and be back down.  Not only was I down the gain from yesterday, but I am down 6.8 pounds total. Woo!  I will be 10 down by the end of the week, fingers crossed...now on to my delightful dreams of the food I wont be having anytime soon...I can do this.

Today I'd like to spike a Tab with drano...

I get this yucky feeling in my stomach whenever I have to go to weigh in, which is probably really stupid because it is just a weigh in.  I want to scale to be lower than it was the last time I was there and for all but one day up until today it has been.  Today, of all days, I am up 2 pounds. I want to stop eating for the rest of the day, which I know is not good, but I can't help it. The stupid scale. I want a re-weigh. It was right after lunch and my clothes are a little heavier than usual, I mean I am wearing this huge sweater.  Okay the sweater is light weight, and I'm not wearing heavy clothes. I am just absolutely bummed.  I hate putting forth all the effort for the scale to be up. 

I know all of you have warned me that the scale is going to go up an down and to not get discouraged. I am trying so hard, what that worse part is, all I want to do right now is eat a cheese burger. Why is that? When we hit a low point, we want it to go lower.  I think it is just some sick way for us to see how much pain we can take.  Well that is it for me tonight. 2 pounds up. UGH! I am going to have my last carefully measured serving of protein, my last two veggies and then do 60 minutes of HOT yoga with my co-worker. Take that stupid two pounds.  Stay tuned the blog after HOT yoga is guaranteed to make you smile, since I haven't done yoga in forever. Watch out downward dog, lets do this...

On to Week 2

I feel like day after day this just keeps getting harder. I know I have the ability to get through 15 more weeks, but it will take every fiber of my being.  It was definitely a true test of my will being with family this weekend, as I endured another day of selecting dietable options off a restaurant menu.
I did the very best I could selecting blackened chicken and veggies, it wasn't until later this evening that I realized how hungry I was. I had eaten all my allotted proteins for the day and veggies. I was left to fruit, which isn't the most filling dinner. I have struggled through this evening consuming more than my share of water in an attempt to fill myself up.  While putting the dishes away I stumble upon a fortune cookie from a few weeks ago. I couldn't resist it tonight, not after the weekend that I have had. There it was staring at me, taunting me.  I could blame it on the need to read my fortune, but no I was hypnotized by the delicate sweetness of the Chinese food dessert.  I slowly devoured every bit of that damn cookie. I didn't need it, but I couldn't help myself. I cheated. With a damn fortune cookie. F-ing cookie.

In an attempt to make up for it,  I took a long walk with my dog tonight. I can't beat myself up for too long. It was just a tiny cookie. It did have a pretty good fortune.

Ok lets do this week two!

The holidays are closer than they appear...

 I am being extremely creative when it comes to dish choices and favors that I can have.  I guess the hardest thing about day five and six was that I spent it with family members that aren't on a diet.  It made me realize that the holidays are right around the corner.
Now, I love love love my family, so don't get me wrong; but dinner friday night while my parents enjoyed a pizza from the neighborhood delivery was painful.  There I sat across the table from a large extreme garden veggie cheese covered pizza. My mouth watered the entire time while I was quickly stuffing my salad down so I could escape the fire burning temptation of PIZZA.  Of course my adorable mother was trying so hard to tell me how proud she was of me for sticking to it, and of course all of that proud of me talk was while she ate the pizza that I will now be craving for 16 weeks.
Today was much better. I convinced the family to have veggie omelets for breakfast, something that is on my diet, and the day cruised on from there. My older brother and his wife are here for the weekend; which means I have more eyes to impress with my will-power and amazing determination to stick with this plan.
Lunch was less difficult than I thought it would be at a mexican restaurant, I wasn't craving the tortillas and chips near as much as the other night.  I followed my plan and didn't miss a drop of water.
It wasn't until this evenings short trip to the mall that I even really remembered that I was dieting. That is when it hit me. Thanksgiving is in like 20 days, and Christmas is right behind that. A time when everyone keeps adding to your plate and sugar fills the air.  I think I will gain 5 pounds walking in to the house filled with treats and pies. Not to mention cornbread dressing and gravy. I can eat the turkey, but that might be the only thing on this diet that we actually serve at Thanksgiving at the Landry-Morrow house.
I am open to suggestions from anyone that has done a strict diet over the holidays for how to actually get through this. All I can think about now is pumpkin pie and candied sweet potato casserole... oh hell

Introducing new food...well food that you can't get at a drive thru...

I hate dieting. I hate the feeling that I am so restricted. I am a caged carinvore, waiting to devour my carefully weighed meat portion for my 5th and final meal of the day.  Day four was more difficult than I expected. I have realized that time will be the essence of this life style change.  I need more time to prepare the detailed measurments of my daily food intake.
 Today I added two fruits, two starches (restricted to diet bread and other starches that I don't know if I have ever heard of...Stay tuned..I will cover the diet bread) and four vegtables. I also have to have two protiens and two snacky protiens like a drink or a bar to consume. After 3 days of very limited food, I am wondering how to get it all in. Have no fear, I had no trouble eating everything I was alloted.  Which brings me to the most intersting part of my morning, the diet bread.  Not quite as cardboard like as I was expecting, and it was almost exactly like toast until I caught apart without the yummy smart balance on it; thats when I realized it was diet bread. I am sure you were expecting me to go off on the diet bread, but it really wasn't that bad...and only 40 calories. The only thing that wasn't very good that I had to eat today was the bark like protein bar that was supposed to be peanut butter flavored, that actually may have resembled the biscuts that I feed my dog. 
I know what you are thinking, that didn't really sound like a reason to be frazzled all day long. I literally felt like I was eating all day long. I am losing valuable time at my office trying to remember how long it has been since my last meal, and if it was time again for protein.  I know that my being blessed by mother nature only added to the quick frazzle today; I mean I wouldn't even step on the scale because I feel so much heavier today. I think over-all I am disliking being on a diet, but I am disliking being a women on a diet more. It is an hour-by-hour roller coaster of emotions.
My mother eased my mind this evening, with her reminders that it will be worth it in a week, when the stars align themselves and mother nature leaves me alone for 28 days, and all of a sudden I am lighter by 8 pounds. I love my mother and her sweet attempts to make me always feel beautiful, all while she is prepping a yummy dinner at her house full of things that Im not sure if I will ever be able to eat again. Seriously though I am only being dramatic, my folks were having salmon.
I think my list of foods I can have added to the stress of the day. I was only looking for a few things on my menu for the next 16 weeks, I didn't find the most important food group, CHEESE! I think I am going to miss cheese the most. I am obsessed with cheese, but seriously who isn't? I am actually about to go to bed and I will probably have dreams about cheese. They will revert back to the horrorable childhood memories of having high colesteral at the old age of 5. I am not even joking with you. I was five and had to stick to a restricted diet of one piece of cheese a week.  Lets just say I ate a lot of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches at school that year. Let the sea of cheese forsake my dreams...

I see an ending to the sea of red meat!

Day three came and went.  It was again another struggle of a day.  I had to again consume 2 lbs of red meat, which was quite disgusting after two previous days of it. I skipped the meat with my eggs this morning and headed off to weigh in and participate in my nutrition class. The day suddenly got better, I am offically down 4.6 lbs!  I can also eat more food starting on Day 4. And another up side is that I can't eat red meat for three days starting on Day 4.  I am really looking forward to no red meat, and adding fruits.  I am handed my "Diet Bible" from my counselor and told that it must go everywhere with me for the next 16 weeks.
 I guess I haven't completely heard that number before. 16 weeks. I will be 50 pounds lighter in 16 weeks.  I am not sure what I will look like 50 lbs lighter, but I think I'm gonna like it.  Since I was caught completly off-guard by that fact, I had to go shopping. I bought this cute pair of Carlos Santana Pumps, Since I have decided to forgo clothes shopping for the next sixteen weeks.
 Lunch was easier than I thought it would be, my 8 oz steak went down very well with my sixth glass of water for the day.  It has been a long time since I had to count glasses of water, or creatively remember how many cups are in a pint. Isn't it sad that companys of soda pop are making millions of dollars off of us, when really the only beverage that we need is water. It's true, I am a soda junkie, well I was until 3 days ago, but come on, give us sugar in any form and we will jump at the bait for it.  I really would do much better on a soda or liquid-in-an-form only diet. Of course then I really would have a bulldoser for an ass.
Work consumed the rest of my afternoon, which was good because cravings for fried food hit me when four of my students brought in something deliciously fried from the nearbye Sonic.  What I wouldn't give for onion rings, or mozzarella sticks fresh out of the grease. Or even that soda pop, probably Bargs Root Beer or Dr. Pepper, that was purchased for only 1/2 the normal cost. That is a deal ever a dieter wants to take advantage of.  As work came to an end, it was time to figure out how to consume one more pound of meat. A few friends decided we should go out, and wouldn't you know, they picked MEXICAN FOOD!  What does a sad 4.6lb less weight dieter have to do to catch a break? I know you are all panicing, but have no fear, chips are no match for me. Fajita type steak, chicken and a few veggies...and Volia! I am still on track. I really think I had like a pound and a half of meat more than I actually needed... but oh well... I was trying not to eat the chips so I kept stuffing my face with the fajita.

16 Weeks to a New Me!

Have you ever had one of those moments that makes you literally want to stop eating? I never feel that way. I could eat all the time. When I was a child my family, meaning no harm, would ask me if I was hungry and before I could even answer they would reply some thing like 'Rae being hungry, duh!' I never really considered myself a fat kid, but I love food. So here I am, now 27 years old and I am considered obese. I figured that the moment the scale finally hit 180, was my breaking point, I think I cried for three straight days. What am I going to do about this? I need to lose weight. My father passed away at 35 years old of a massive heart attack, so if I do not get healthy I may not make it.
My decision has been on the fence for about a week. I am considering spending a small fortune in order to achieve a goal that I have been failing at for 5+ years. I want to lose weight! I am not talking like 5 or 10 lbs, but I need to lose 50 lbs! Therefore, I started yesterday on a very strict 3-day start to a lifestyle change.
Day 1
Today was a breeze! However, isn't the first day usually easier than all the other days? It's not hard not cheat on the first day. I can totally do this. I ate like 2 lbs of meat on day one. I don't think I have ever had that much red meat in one day in my entire life. Red meat, oh and raw green vegetables. There isn't much else to say except that I am full of water, have peed seventeen thousand times, and have had enough red meat to feed a small army.
Day 2
Let me break it down for you. This is not easy. I guess losing weight is not easy right. I started out this morning with my fat free sugar free coffee, 2 eggs and 1/2 lb of hamburger meat,(seasoned the best I can with Mrs. Dash) and glass one of my 10 glasses of water. I felt good. A little rushed getting out the door, but good. Then it's down hill, massive headache that went away after coffee returned about 10:45am for the kill. I am sitting at my desk thinking, I have to get out of here. I need sugar, candy, and soda!
I did such a great job at lunch with my grilled chicken salad, hold the tomatoes and egg and tortilla strips, with vinaigrette dressing, and a huge class of water. Still no match for the curdling headache. I get back in my car to return to the office and there calling my name in the bottom of my cup holder is one snack sized bag of Reece's Pieces. You should have been there, I am screaming to myself in the car 'I can't handle this, I mean really! I was so good about hiding all of the Halloween Candy. How in the hell did that get there?' Okay, I thought to myself, I am not going to let this tiny bag consume me. What can I do? Hide it, no cause I will know it is there always, taunting me. I threw it out the window. I won! Even if I had to litter to win today, candy is no match for me.
I made it to five o'clock, which was mostly because I locked myself in the office with my work and my water. Finally some success today, I weighed in this evening and was down 2.6 lbs. What's bad is all I can think about, 'Woo! Can I have some carbs now?' Now don't panic; I jumped on this bandwagon and I did not have carbs tonight but I was so freaking excited that I wanted to have them. I told you guys I was an eater. I settled down to have my lovely meaty dinner (attempting to finish the last of my two pounds of meat) with a salad and some green beans. Now, keep in mind I should be having raw green vegetables. Let me just say, raw green beans are not meant to be eaten. I don't think that I have ever seen anyone eat a raw green bean, but tonight ladies and gentlemen, I ate a raw green bean. It tasted like shit! Like I was munching on some grass. I really don't think that green beans are meant to be eaten raw. So I pilled on a bit more salad covered it in the Fat Free dressing that I can have and ate my meat. What can I say, with this day 'I'll have my meat and eat it too!' Now if I could just get rid of this headache...where's my diet clear soda?