Thirty days til Christmas, great time to start a diet?

After reaching a heffer like state in the last few months of falling in love, I have apparently also gone a little crazy because I have decided to start a diet 30 days before Christmas.  It's the holiday season, and eventhough I will be making plenty of seasonal treats, I will not be having any of them!  Yep, pretty stinking crazy!  Ok ok, I'll admit there is no way that I can actually not have any of the sugary goodies that will soon grace my eyes, but I am really going to master self-control.  
why now, you ask?  Why not!  In a little over a month we will all be sitting around in the company of those that care about us the most.  By care, I mean JUDGE!  No offense to families, and I know that they are only "judging out of love."  We are the worst around other family members.   Ya know that saying that a mirror doesn't lie, well neither does your family. I can already feels those eyes noticing my muffin top.  Even if they don't say a word, the look of disgust does it all.   I am just as guilty of thinking about how many servings I can have of the holiday meal, before someone thinks to themselves...she has had enough.  Don't misunderstand me, I love my family, I am just describing how ovbious they can be when you've put on a few love pounds.   I can't sit here and act like I am not also guilty of this cricital analysis of what my family members eat or don't eat. We all do it!  That's not even the worst part, the worst is the pictures that will be taken that are evidence of the weigh you know you need to lose.
Now, this blog is about dieting... So let's get to the new fad that I have agreed to try.  I am kicking off this new phase of 'What doesn't kill me makes me hotter', with the....drum roll please...Cabbage Soup diet!  Did you all just gag, like I did?  If you are wondering where in the hell I came up with this just look it up. I sit here tonight, being a lovely couch date for Sunday Night Football while the biggest pot in the kitchen simmers cabbage, veggies, spices and V8.  Doesn't that sound delicious?  For the next seven days the soup will be accompanying most of my meals. 
30 days is plenty of time to rock the weight loss, so that when all of the family pictures start flashing,  I'll know I look fantastic!

I'm gonna be P90xy!

After one week down of P90X, I am still sore in places that I have never been sore. They are not kidding when they tell you that it is a serious workout.  I was feeling it all week, more and more every day.  Have no fear, it is the good sore.  I feel like I have already accomplished so much.  Now with the scale I am still up and down; however my clothes are getting bigger.  I think that actually means that I am getting a bit smaller.  Even just after one week, I am feeling stronger and even sexier.  I am sure that the scale would move more if I could put down the wine glass. It is hard to be 28, and not have a social drinking life. Not to mention the fact that I am living in a small town, with not much else to do, but drink. If your not drinking, you realize where you are living.  (Don't get me wrong, I love love my Waco friends, but I am in serious need of a brunch place with bottomless mimosas)
I always say, eating is the hardest part of losing weight.  I am absolutely over the astronaut meals that make up my Nutrasystem diet.  The meatloaf actually tastes the way I would assume cardboard tastes. The mash-potatoes, I won't even go there. I actually have taken too many days off the system this week, so I know that tomorrow's frozen egg like imitation omelette is going to satisfy every tastebud In my sweet little mouth. I'll be honest, it looks better than it tastes. I know I have made you all suffer, through good and bad diet food.  Here's my problem. NutraSystem is terribly convenient! I work late hours, so it is nice to only have to quickly use the microwave for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I'll be honest,I Miss cooking. It's a art!  Mixing flavors, and sampling along the way.  Too bad every sample goes right to my thighs. I know I could try to be a healthy cook, I mean I do really like to roast veggies, but they're even better when mixed with pasta.  My favorite part about eating Italian dishes is soaking all the sauce up with a chunky piece of bread. My mouth is salivating, just typing about it!  Ok, Rachel! Focus!  Healthy food! We were actually pretty good at our tiny superbowl party last night. We had spinach and artichoke dip with pita chips, hummus, and some delicious jalapeno cilantro goat cheese.  Its obvious that there were no men at our party.  We were doing good until one of the fab ladies, which shall remain nameless, BROUGHT BREAD! And not just plain bread it was stuffed with Cheese and pepperoni!!!  I know what your thinking, I could have said no to the bread, but it was there hot out of my oven. I didn't want to be rude and not have any.  I had like three or four pieces.  I am such a better!  And I had a few beers. Not actual beers, Ultra 55 calories! LOL.  I need to focus on being a skinny bitch. That series of health books is a whole blog on its own. I'll  get to that on another night.  For now I am going to stick to this killer workout routine and a few more months of astronaut meals. I mean I am only 83 days away from being seriously sexy. Not just sexy, but P90xy!

I'll have what she's having!

During painful weeks of dieting it is hard to stay focused at the lack of food in front of you.  I catch myself listening to what other people order at restaurants and try to convince myself that what they are getting could fall into my diet.  The burger, for example, could work if you take off the bun, cheese, mayo (since I don’t like mustard) and the bacon, but then isn’t it really only a piece of chop steak with some lettuce on top?  What remains on the plate is nothing like a burger!  I find myself drooling into my salad as the lady next to me devours the made to order burger that is dripping with calories. It’s like she is temping me the whole time!  I swear when your dieting you can actually hear the rest of the crowd enjoying their food.  They moan, groan, and swoon over each bite and laugh at you and your salad with grilled chicken and vinaigrette.  This salad doesn’t make me moan!  I immediately think of When Harry Met Sally and the ‘O’ Scene. However, in my movie montage she is actually moaning over how great her food is and everyone else in the entire restaurant is moaning right along with her. “Oh, Yes! So good!”; “Give me more!”; “Ummm” and several other explicit comments.  How am I supposed to enjoy lettuce with moaning going on in my head over every other dish in the world?   Why am I dieting?  Oh yeah, reality check- to get healthy and lose weight!  That’s right. Stay focused.  I have to remember that after I lose my extra weight then I can walk into a restaurant, hear the orgasms over food all around me and say “I’ll have what she’s having”  in moderation of course. 

Pizza, Wine...Pinot no weight loss!!

 For what it is worth this first week of dieting hasn't been too terrible, I made it through most of the week without fail.  I feel like I am responsible for forcing my entire office to go on a diet. I started January with guns blazing that our office was going to be healthy this new year. I am certain that the ladies all think I  am nuts. I'm sure that I am Or will be by the end of this diet term.  Friday the devil in me showed as we encountered a sugar issue in the office. This dorky young boy came in the office with a box full of m&m cookies. At first I thought he was trying to sell us all the extra fat that those cookies would produce. I glared at him as I let him begin to talk. Once I knew that he was handing those un-needed calories out for me as if we needed them, I motioned for the four ladies in the office to band behind me, they each grabbed two bags of the un-wanted delicious calories as I forcefully pulled the box from this naive under-sexed young boy and on my signal we unleashed our fury by throwing bags of cookies at him. He ran from the office screaming like a wild baby. I'm certain that he won't return.
Once I contained my imaginations, I took a bag for each of us girls and kindly told the boy to leave.  I mean those cookies were free, so that means no calories, right? I insisted that we wouldn't speak of this horrible lack of will power again.


One would think that after a cookie melt down, I would be able to contain myself for the remainder of the day...I was wrong.  It just made a perfect beginning for a fun calorie filled weekend.
as I entered DFW on Friday night, I was welcomed with the most delicious pizzas.  Yes that is plural for a reason.  After picking up my adorable little brother from the airport on Friday evening we headed directly to Durkins pizza. The place that is known for its amazing and heavy calorie crust. Thank God that David ordered a pizza with pineapple on it. Not that the little bit of pineapple made any difference to the caloric content of the piece of pizza I ate, but hey it's a fruit serving. That being said I would have been just fine having one little slice of the unforgiving pizza, but I didn't stop there. My parents had gotten a bit better thin crust pizza with olive oil, spinach, red pepper, and feta.  (the obviously healthier choice) I proceeded to eat both left over pieces of that pizza and then return to the Durkins for one last slice to push me over the edge. If the man that created pizza is still living, I will murder  him. There is no way to ever win at dieting, when pizza is in the equation.
And wine is no help either. Why does it have to taste so good? I mean, once it touches my lips...I'm in for a long night. This weekend, I became in to it for the whole weekend. There's no shame in it, I was spending time with my family and celebrating the wedding of a very good friend and the most adorable woman I've ever met. If its not apparent enough...adorable public displays of affection are reason enough to endure several bottles of Pinot Noir. In no way is this a stab at healthy public relationships, but they do drive me to drink, and forget any notion of a diet I was on 24 hours earlier.
I'm telling you I would have no problems with a diet that allowed a bottle of wine a night. I guess since not diet exists like that, I will have to remember that pinot noir was not intended for weight loss, either that or I will have a create a diet that starts and ends each day with a 10 oz glass.
I may be on to something, after all that I was still down a pound this morning at weigh in.  Looks like I should end my day with a glass after-all.