I'll have what she's having!

During painful weeks of dieting it is hard to stay focused at the lack of food in front of you.  I catch myself listening to what other people order at restaurants and try to convince myself that what they are getting could fall into my diet.  The burger, for example, could work if you take off the bun, cheese, mayo (since I don’t like mustard) and the bacon, but then isn’t it really only a piece of chop steak with some lettuce on top?  What remains on the plate is nothing like a burger!  I find myself drooling into my salad as the lady next to me devours the made to order burger that is dripping with calories. It’s like she is temping me the whole time!  I swear when your dieting you can actually hear the rest of the crowd enjoying their food.  They moan, groan, and swoon over each bite and laugh at you and your salad with grilled chicken and vinaigrette.  This salad doesn’t make me moan!  I immediately think of When Harry Met Sally and the ‘O’ Scene. However, in my movie montage she is actually moaning over how great her food is and everyone else in the entire restaurant is moaning right along with her. “Oh, Yes! So good!”; “Give me more!”; “Ummm” and several other explicit comments.  How am I supposed to enjoy lettuce with moaning going on in my head over every other dish in the world?   Why am I dieting?  Oh yeah, reality check- to get healthy and lose weight!  That’s right. Stay focused.  I have to remember that after I lose my extra weight then I can walk into a restaurant, hear the orgasms over food all around me and say “I’ll have what she’s having”  in moderation of course. 

Pizza, Wine...Pinot no weight loss!!

 For what it is worth this first week of dieting hasn't been too terrible, I made it through most of the week without fail.  I feel like I am responsible for forcing my entire office to go on a diet. I started January with guns blazing that our office was going to be healthy this new year. I am certain that the ladies all think I  am nuts. I'm sure that I am Or will be by the end of this diet term.  Friday the devil in me showed as we encountered a sugar issue in the office. This dorky young boy came in the office with a box full of m&m cookies. At first I thought he was trying to sell us all the extra fat that those cookies would produce. I glared at him as I let him begin to talk. Once I knew that he was handing those un-needed calories out for me as if we needed them, I motioned for the four ladies in the office to band behind me, they each grabbed two bags of the un-wanted delicious calories as I forcefully pulled the box from this naive under-sexed young boy and on my signal we unleashed our fury by throwing bags of cookies at him. He ran from the office screaming like a wild baby. I'm certain that he won't return.
Once I contained my imaginations, I took a bag for each of us girls and kindly told the boy to leave.  I mean those cookies were free, so that means no calories, right? I insisted that we wouldn't speak of this horrible lack of will power again.


One would think that after a cookie melt down, I would be able to contain myself for the remainder of the day...I was wrong.  It just made a perfect beginning for a fun calorie filled weekend.
as I entered DFW on Friday night, I was welcomed with the most delicious pizzas.  Yes that is plural for a reason.  After picking up my adorable little brother from the airport on Friday evening we headed directly to Durkins pizza. The place that is known for its amazing and heavy calorie crust. Thank God that David ordered a pizza with pineapple on it. Not that the little bit of pineapple made any difference to the caloric content of the piece of pizza I ate, but hey it's a fruit serving. That being said I would have been just fine having one little slice of the unforgiving pizza, but I didn't stop there. My parents had gotten a bit better thin crust pizza with olive oil, spinach, red pepper, and feta.  (the obviously healthier choice) I proceeded to eat both left over pieces of that pizza and then return to the Durkins for one last slice to push me over the edge. If the man that created pizza is still living, I will murder  him. There is no way to ever win at dieting, when pizza is in the equation.
And wine is no help either. Why does it have to taste so good? I mean, once it touches my lips...I'm in for a long night. This weekend, I became in to it for the whole weekend. There's no shame in it, I was spending time with my family and celebrating the wedding of a very good friend and the most adorable woman I've ever met. If its not apparent enough...adorable public displays of affection are reason enough to endure several bottles of Pinot Noir. In no way is this a stab at healthy public relationships, but they do drive me to drink, and forget any notion of a diet I was on 24 hours earlier.
I'm telling you I would have no problems with a diet that allowed a bottle of wine a night. I guess since not diet exists like that, I will have to remember that pinot noir was not intended for weight loss, either that or I will have a create a diet that starts and ends each day with a 10 oz glass.
I may be on to something, after all that I was still down a pound this morning at weigh in.  Looks like I should end my day with a glass after-all.